Smith drops knowledge on Twilight haters
Monday, November 30, 2009 | 
Posted by
UrQuan
(Warning: This youtube clip contains profanity)
Across the galaxy Earth movies are enjoyed by many. The ability to encapsulate, share and impart knowledge, wisdom, humor, emotions and other values within a three act structure through story telling is seen as one of the few redeeming qualities of Earth culture. However, Twilight is a much hated film throughout the galaxies even among 12 year-old girls. But Kevin Smith (Clerks, Dogma, Mall Rats) drops knowledge on nerds and geeks at the 2009 San Diego Comicon. We in the Alliance like Kevin Smith, so listen to what he has to say and "feel the room get moist."
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Soylent Green is people
From Moscow (Reuters)
Perm, Russia - The year 2022 is just 13 years away and is the setting for the 1973 science fiction film "Soylent Green". It depicts an overcrowded Earth, massive unemployment, widespread poverty and depleted resources. Real food is expensive and rare. The scenario is not much unlike 2009. People mainly survive on a wafer ration called Soylent Green, a product in which the main ingredient, is humans.
It is difficult to find a more despicable act in human history than cannibalism, yet this practice persists. Three homeless people were arrested for butchering and eating a man and selling the remains to a local kebab house.
Russia fell on extremely hard "Soylent Green-like" times multiple occasions, most recently during its financial collapse in the late 1990s. A decade later it seems those hard times persist.
It is difficult to find a more despicable act in human history than cannibalism, yet this practice persists. Three homeless people were arrested for butchering and eating a man and selling the remains to a local kebab house.
Russia fell on extremely hard "Soylent Green-like" times multiple occasions, most recently during its financial collapse in the late 1990s. A decade later it seems those hard times persist.
The Tiger Woods multiple choice quiz
You live in an ultra rich gated community.
It's 2:25am
You get in your Cadillac SUV and you pull out the driveway.
In the process you hit a fire hydrant and a tree in your neighbor's yard.
You wife breaks out a window with a golf club to pull you to safety (or so she says).
You're incoherent.
Police on the scene state your injuries are serious yet the hospital releases you with minor injuries.
You are:
It's 2:25am
You get in your Cadillac SUV and you pull out the driveway.
In the process you hit a fire hydrant and a tree in your neighbor's yard.
You wife breaks out a window with a golf club to pull you to safety (or so she says).
You're incoherent.
Police on the scene state your injuries are serious yet the hospital releases you with minor injuries.
You are:
- A: a terrible driver
- B: unable to handle the power of the Cadillac SUV so you lose control.
- C: blinded by your wife's radiant beauty.
- D: drunk in a mother******
- E: unable to convince your wife of your fidelity so she goes Bear Jew on you and your Escalade with a golf club.
Reality TV couples gone wild
WASHINGTON, D.C., United States - First there was the boy in the UFO balloon, which we thought was most amusing. Now we have Michaele and Tareq Salahi, attending a high profile state dinner of the president the United States uninvited, despite security protocols and procedures. It seems to have caused quite a stir.
While we will not judge your Reality TV genre or its grotesque forms of exhibitionism or why people would risk imprisonment over extreme publicity stunts, we are wondering what criminal penalties the Salahis will face since attending without an invitation is not deemed an illegal activity punishable by law in the United States. Trespassing perhaps? Perhaps lying to Secret Service? In fact some across the alliance ponder whether the Secret Service should face some disciplinary action for being lax in its duties. It was possible the Salahis could've been secret assassins trained in unarmed death touch techniques to give some dignitary a heart attack by patting them on the back but the entire event transpired without any transgressions or altercations.
What is of most interest to the alliance is the punishment designed for the Salahis. Will it be deemed fair or worthy of Abu Ghraib? We shall see. At the very least perhaps Michaele Salahi has increased her chances of appearing on "The Real Housewives of D.C." With the amount of lying and corruption in Washington D.C. it is ironic the Salahis are getting so much attention.
While we will not judge your Reality TV genre or its grotesque forms of exhibitionism or why people would risk imprisonment over extreme publicity stunts, we are wondering what criminal penalties the Salahis will face since attending without an invitation is not deemed an illegal activity punishable by law in the United States. Trespassing perhaps? Perhaps lying to Secret Service? In fact some across the alliance ponder whether the Secret Service should face some disciplinary action for being lax in its duties. It was possible the Salahis could've been secret assassins trained in unarmed death touch techniques to give some dignitary a heart attack by patting them on the back but the entire event transpired without any transgressions or altercations.
What is of most interest to the alliance is the punishment designed for the Salahis. Will it be deemed fair or worthy of Abu Ghraib? We shall see. At the very least perhaps Michaele Salahi has increased her chances of appearing on "The Real Housewives of D.C." With the amount of lying and corruption in Washington D.C. it is ironic the Salahis are getting so much attention.
UrQuan is pleased with Uncharted 2, PSN upgrades
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What is the M31 Alliance Network?
M31 is Andromeda.
The M31 Alliance is the alliance of planets and races in the Milky Way, Andromeda and Triangulum Galaxies. It was formerly called the Galactic Alliance but we didn't want any trouble from George Lucas.
The M31 Alliance is the alliance of planets and races in the Milky Way, Andromeda and Triangulum Galaxies. It was formerly called the Galactic Alliance but we didn't want any trouble from George Lucas.
The M31 Alliance Network is the means through which UrQuan communicates with Earth and Earthlings.
UrQuan (of the UrQuan) is the Galactic Enforcer. If races are deemed hostile, it is UrQuan that deals with them. If UrQuan seems totalitarian and draconian, it is because he is totalitarian and draconian towards those who are totalitarian and draconian because it is what they understand. UrQuan was set to destroy the Earth until he discovered video games. He enjoys them as do we all. Isn't Uncharted 2 amazing? So Earth was spared, for now.
How Earth can be included in the M31 Alliance
Earth is currently under a tri-galaxy quarantine.There are three things the humans of Earth must do collectively to be allowed inclusion in the Alliance.
- CEASE ALL MURDER
We would even be tolerative of the occasional domestic altercations. But humans murder each other on large scales. Not just once in a while, but continually. This must cease.
- END OPPRESSION AND MANIPULATION OF THE MASSES ESPECIALLY THE POOR
Great strides are made for the few at the expense of many. This includes everything from predictive programming to manipulation of money systems to sexual slavery and child soldiers. This must cease.
- HOARDING AND SUPPRESSION OF TECHNOLOGIES
There are more efficient ways of living that are ignored for many selfish reasons, including profit. For instance, you use a 125 year old fossil fuel when more efficient engines and fuels are available now. This also includes medical technologies and cures that are available now. This must cease.
Compliance with these three points would result in the quarantine being lifted and contact with many other races in your galaxy and beyond at great benefit to you. Noncompliance will result in your continual isolation (including us making fun of you) and if you attempt to leave Earth, your destruction.
2500 years later toilet is a luxury in rural India
Women in Nilokheri, India are including one very important requirement for marriage; an indoor toilet. It is not a cheap proposition. Almost half of India's 1.2 billion population lack this basic amenity.
What is most ironic is the Indus Kush Valley Civilization which covered parts of India, Pakistan and Afghanistan, had citywide sewers and plumbing 2500 years ago. A very advanced urban center, it was very similar to modern plumbing humans use today, including water pumped into homes that drained out to nearby bodies of water. Undiscovered until the early 20th century there is still much about the Indus Valley Civilization that remains unknown, to humans anyway.
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