Showing posts with label M31. Show all posts
Showing posts with label M31. Show all posts
Chuck Norris, your toughest human?
Monday, December 14, 2009 | 
Posted by
UrQuan
If humans had to send just one human to fight in an inter-galactic arena, who would you send? We keep hearing these "facts" about Chuck Norris that we find hard to believe. Chuck Norris is 70 years old! You humans are nearing the end of your pathetic life spans by 70, if you have not succumbed to one of your easily curable diseases. Yet this 70 year-old human is allegedly capable of the following feats.
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
We find this preposterous. This would make Chuck Norris older than the deity you refer to as Jesus.
- Chuck Norris went to Mars. That's why there is no life there.
Ridiculous. There is life on Mars. They are however very afraid of the homicidal tendencies of humans. That is why they break your stuff when you send it to Mars.
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
More of your western nation economic voodoo.
- Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Not only is this extremely narcissistic, it is extremely gay.
- When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
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What is the M31 Alliance Network?
M31 is Andromeda.
The M31 Alliance is the alliance of planets and races in the Milky Way, Andromeda and Triangulum Galaxies. It was formerly called the Galactic Alliance but we didn't want any trouble from George Lucas.
The M31 Alliance is the alliance of planets and races in the Milky Way, Andromeda and Triangulum Galaxies. It was formerly called the Galactic Alliance but we didn't want any trouble from George Lucas.
The M31 Alliance Network is the means through which UrQuan communicates with Earth and Earthlings.
UrQuan (of the UrQuan) is the Galactic Enforcer. If races are deemed hostile, it is UrQuan that deals with them. If UrQuan seems totalitarian and draconian, it is because he is totalitarian and draconian towards those who are totalitarian and draconian because it is what they understand. UrQuan was set to destroy the Earth until he discovered video games. He enjoys them as do we all. Isn't Uncharted 2 amazing? So Earth was spared, for now.
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