Don't taze me 11 times while I'm unconscious bro!
Sunday, January 03, 2010 | 
Posted by
UrQuan
From Raw Story
It seems Chicago police don't take any shit from anyone, including unconscious diabetics. In shocking story Chicago police reportedly tasered a man as he lay unconscious after a diabetic seizure.
After having a seizure and police and paramedics responded, paramedics requested help moving the man to the ambulance. While in transport and still unconscious and in seizure, the man is said to have struck the officer involuntarily. The victim was forced to the ground and the officer, in response began tasering the seizure victim for approximately 56 seconds for a total of 11 jolts of electricity.
After having a seizure and police and paramedics responded, paramedics requested help moving the man to the ambulance. While in transport and still unconscious and in seizure, the man is said to have struck the officer involuntarily. The victim was forced to the ground and the officer, in response began tasering the seizure victim for approximately 56 seconds for a total of 11 jolts of electricity.
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Pretty in Pink
(Warning: This youtube clip contains material of a sexual nature. Be advised.)
A human female's bizarre first sexual encounter. Now you may think, "yes this human female is quite desirable" but notice the slightly psychotic look at the very end and know you should be afraid.
The healing power of human breasts
Humans in the country of Germany conducted an unusual study in which they determined staring at breasts is good for men's health and increases life expectancy. Researchers equate it with 30 minutes of exercise but only if subject of said objectivity is "well endowed." Apparently small breasts do not have the desired effect. We can only wonder if staring at the well endowed junk of males will do the same for females.
We would expect no less from the country of Germany who seems to have the most unusual sexual practices on the planet Earth, after Brazil and Japan respectively.
La La Land
From Live Science
New "research" list the happiest states in the country called the United States of America. The state of New York is supposed to be where dreams are inspired and what dreams are made of, but New York is dead last on the list, apparently more miserable than the state of Michigan. Damn. Noting the number of southern states so high in the list we can only conclude that ignorance must truly be bliss.
Hack govt. drones with $25 and a laptop
From the Wall Street Journal
Humans seem very fond of their primitive technologies. Especially when it is used to blow up things and brown people. It seems an insurgent group of humans in a war torn nation called Iraq, once the cradle of many early civilizations have found a way to hack into remote controlled flying "drones." These drones are used to rain down death and destruction as well as take photos and videos for Myspace, Facebook, Flickr and military intelligence and surveillance .
It would appear all the insurgents needed was software that anyone can purchase from the internet, for approximately 25 United States earth dollars. This software allowed the insurgents access to the drone's communication link giving them sensitive information on various military logistics.
While the United States military has been aware of this security flaw since the 1990s, they thought their enemies too primitive to exploit the weakness in security. Interesting logic. But it gets better. Since these communications systems are proprietary to the company that designed it, standard military encryption protocols are useless.
Destroying earth would be far easier than we imagined.
It would appear all the insurgents needed was software that anyone can purchase from the internet, for approximately 25 United States earth dollars. This software allowed the insurgents access to the drone's communication link giving them sensitive information on various military logistics.
While the United States military has been aware of this security flaw since the 1990s, they thought their enemies too primitive to exploit the weakness in security. Interesting logic. But it gets better. Since these communications systems are proprietary to the company that designed it, standard military encryption protocols are useless.
Destroying earth would be far easier than we imagined.
Chuck Norris, your toughest human?
If humans had to send just one human to fight in an inter-galactic arena, who would you send? We keep hearing these "facts" about Chuck Norris that we find hard to believe. Chuck Norris is 70 years old! You humans are nearing the end of your pathetic life spans by 70, if you have not succumbed to one of your easily curable diseases. Yet this 70 year-old human is allegedly capable of the following feats.
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
We find this preposterous. This would make Chuck Norris older than the deity you refer to as Jesus.
- Chuck Norris went to Mars. That's why there is no life there.
Ridiculous. There is life on Mars. They are however very afraid of the homicidal tendencies of humans. That is why they break your stuff when you send it to Mars.
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
More of your western nation economic voodoo.
- Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Not only is this extremely narcissistic, it is extremely gay.
- When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
Humans bombing humans... for peace
From Yahoo! News
We of the M31 Alliance are continually amused at the frequency in which some nations wage war on humans with a darker skin color. But beyond that, we are somewhat disappointed in the continuation of failed war strategies in the region you call the Middle East and the awarding of a "peace prize" to a man who is currently expanding those failed war policies.
What good did it do to switch parties, and choose a smart president (in relation to the previous president of the United States of America) if the policies of the previous president are not only continued but expanded by your current president of the United States?
We of the M31 Alliance are continually amused at the frequency in which some nations wage war on humans with a darker skin color. But beyond that, we are somewhat disappointed in the continuation of failed war strategies in the region you call the Middle East and the awarding of a "peace prize" to a man who is currently expanding those failed war policies.
What good did it do to switch parties, and choose a smart president (in relation to the previous president of the United States of America) if the policies of the previous president are not only continued but expanded by your current president of the United States?
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